Day 31 - Torticollis and bullying...

Thank you, everyone, for your concern. I'm doing a lot better. Yesterday was so bizarre. It basically hurt to talk, swallow, yawn and burp (especially burp!). I told my manager I wouldn't be talking if that was okay with her so everything was done by email yesterday... or people coming to my desk and me typing into the computer to answer them lol. It was actually oddly soothing to do a 'silent retreat' at work. I should do that more often.

I went to the chiro in the afternoon and immediately felt better. She also confirmed it was muscular and specifically the sternocleidomastoid. She suggested I go for a massage at that point. Luckily my RMT was available that evening. He gave me an awesome massage; whole back, focusing on the upper neck area and shoulderblades (constant problem for me) and then the front part of the neck along with upper and lower chest regions. When he was about to start massaging the front part of my neck, he warned me it wouldn't be pleasant.... He wasn't kidding! It was really painful. But hey, no pain, no gain? He massaged me with black cumin, chamomile and laurel leaf essential oils! Mmmmm... I can still smell it! :) Black cumin is sooo yum! :) After the massage, I was told what I had is basically a form of torticollis.

My theory is: I either screwed up my neck whilst lifting boxes about 30 min before the pain first shot through my neck.... or, like Michelle and Carrie suggested, it could have been psychosomatic. I'm supposed to be around 15/14 years old right now, through the 'retracing' process.

I had the most aweful teenage years... I basically got bullied everyday from ages 9 through 15. I had insomnia and symptoms of PTS as a kid. I can't verbalize the feeling of dread that would overwhelm me as summer vacation came to an end... not knowing what bullies would be in my class that year or not knowing to what extent I would get beaten up or verbally assaulted. I grew up in a small town and being the only obviously gay kid in a school of 300 people, I became an easy target for that sort of thing.

While that's all a distant memory, I still live with a lot of that still. I sometimes expect for people to backstab me or conspire against me. I never had any friends throughout high school and, now as an adult, the feeling of having friends still feels strangely alien to me. When I hear people laughing on the bus, I immediately assume they're laughing at me. I guess that's what 6 years of chronic abuse will do to a person.

There's a positive side to all this; I'm a much more driven person... I left that small town and went to the city where people are much more open and less conservative and I've been independent ever since. I moved out at 16 and made a life for myself. I've been driven to succeed to prove those people wrong.

Anyway... enough about all that... It's just, I was thinking this morning... I couldn't associate this feeling in my throat to any injury I've ever had. The only exception is, it felt like when kids would pin me against the wall with their hands on my throat and try to strangle me. This feeling was very akin to feeling stifled. It's the only thing I can link it to. Maybe writing this all out, verbalizing it through my blog will help release these repressed feelings.

Today I had:

1.25L water+msm+lemon
1.25L celery/red chard/cilantro+E3live+kelp
1.25L apple/red cabbage
750L cantaloupe
500ml coconut water+E3live
1Tbsp bee pollen
(forgot to take my fats again! d'oh!)

Today I did:
Skin brushing
1 chiropractic adjustment
1 hour massage with essential oils

I finally managed to get some Chanca Piedra in tincture form shipped to Canada! I'm a bit late on it, but I figured I'd rather get it in tincture and take it a few days later (supposed to start on day 30) than to get it in capsule form.

I'm desperately trying to order Healthforce products (parasite formula for day 60 and intestinal drawing formula) but am also having the same 'shipping to canada' problem. I'm waiting on an email from a seller on bluejay.com... You'd think Americans don't realize we're right next door to them or something? It boggles my mind why they wouldn't ship to Canada!

Anyway! :)

- Ben

PS: Officially hit the "lost 20lbs" mark today! I was at 150.4lbs and I was super pissed because I've been waiting to hit 149 for days now.... so I went to pee, came back and I was at 150.0! LOL!

Day 30 - OUCH! What did I do?

Day 30 was supposed to be bliss! I'm 1/3 of the way there! :) The day started off like it normally does, I got up, made 4L of juice and started getting ready. I did an enema with cat's claw tea. Again, intense enema! I'm convinced I eliminated muculoid plaque this time. I felt very lightheaded afterwards but I had to get to work... so I hopped in the shower, got ready and pretty and dashed out the door.

While I at work I found out Jack & Jill gave me the juice feaster's award! Yay! :) I'm so happy! Good timing too... I think day 30 is quite a milestone for juice feasters!

At lunch, I had a kiosk to host. When it was over, I put all the boxes back in the supply closet and went back to my desk. I started working on my to do list (14 items!). I started to get a bit stressed and then it happened.... INTENSE throbbing pain in my neck. Actually, the front of the neck... in my throat/windpipe area. The pain was to the left... near the clavicle... specifically the "sternocleidomastoid" muscle. I have no idea what happened but this muscle is hurting so badly that I could barely speak. It hurt to swallow and when I had a wee burp to make the pain would shoot even worse. I called my chiropractor and she was gone for the day; I have an emergency appointment at 2PM. I'm hoping it's just a rib or something that can be moved back into place. I'm writing this on the morning of day 31 and it still hurts. I'm just hoping I don't have to go to the hospital for this; I don't want to take any drugs while juice feasting... this would ruin all the progress I've done so far. I'll have to look into acupuncture if the chiro can't do anything. Could it be my throat chakra?

Today I had:

1.25L water+msm+lemon
1.25L celery/kale/parsley+kelp
1.25L Pineapple/Blackberry (oh I've missed you!)
1.00L Orange/Apple/Carrot
1.00L Coconut water/leftover pineapple juice
1Tbsp bee pollen

Today I also did:
Skin Brushing
2L cat's claw enema
Yoga is on hold until my neck is fixed :(

If anyone has any tips regarding my bizarre neck pain, please let me know!

- Ben

Day 25 - Epsom salt baths & retracing

We've all had those days where *everything* goes wrong. I just had one of those days today. My stress level was off the roof. I could feel my spine and my back just taking on so much stress. My back was killing me. I ended up going for a massage after work. Best decision ever! My massage therapist ordered me to have an epsom salt bath tonight. I just had one and I feel great. My RMT explained that, as well as having an overall detoxing effect on the body, epsom salt baths help to clear out released lactic acid. It's a great idea to have one after having a deep tissue massage.

I wanted to talk about some retracing symptoms I've had. It's really quite bizarre. The most intense of the symptoms was last week, when I was absolutely convinced I was coming down with strep throat. I immediately started gargling with apple cider vinegar. It would burn when I'd swallow juices, the lymph nodes in my neck were swollen and my voice was getting scratchy. That night I forgot to rince with ACV and the next morning I totally forgot about the strep until many hours later... only to find out it was gone. Was it the ACV? I think it was retracing, actually. I doubt gargling once with ACV would have cured my strep...?

I've also had knee pain a few weeks back. I had this knee pain a few years ago... it stayed for a few months and suddenly went away. I have no explanation for that knee pain. I was scared it had come back... but it only lasted a day!

This severe neck pain I've been experiencing for a few days now... isn't only a result of today's stress. I used to have really bad neck pain between the ages of 15 to 22. I don't know if this is part of the retracing... I'm just about to hit '17' in my juice feast.... Anyway... I hope the massage did the trick! My chiro is out of town for a bit; my next adjustment is Thursday.

Today I had:

1.25L water+msm+lemon
1.25L celery/kale/parsley+kelp+spirulina
1.25L pineapple juice
1.25L apple/baby bok choi/daikon
1L apple/kale+E3live
1L electrolyte drink; coconut water+Himalayan salt, agave, lemon
1tbsp bee pollen
1tbsp coconut oil

I also did:
No yoga :( No time this morning + RMT banned me from yoga for tonight
1 Epsom salt bath
1 hour massage
2L burdock root tea enema

5.75L of juice! Pretty good! :) I saved the coconut water for last; my RMT mentioned how epsom salt baths will make you thirsty and dehydrate you.

***Oh! I need someone's expert advice! So yesterday I woke up to find out I had left my hemp oil on the kitchen counter while I was sleeping... so probably out there for 6 to 8 hours.... do you think it's still good? I put it back in the fridge now... but.... *eg*

- Ben

PS: Here's the recipe for yesterday's tasty butternut juice;
1 to 1 1/2 cups chopped butternut squash
1 large navel orange, peeled and sliced
2 bosc pears, chopped
2 dates, pitted and chopped

Place the orange, butternut squash, pears and dates in the vitamix. Add a wee bit of water and blenderize!!! :) Strain through nut mylk bag and serve in a glass, topped with cinnamon! :) Yummylicious!