Typing "Day 86" was pretty weird just now. Jeez... these numbers are huge... Jeez... Day 92 is only 6 days away. Where the hell did the time go? Juice feasting was this insurmountable mountain just a few weeks ago. Juice feasting, a few months ago, was something I thought only a yogi on a mountain (with a vitamix) somewhere could accomplish. I'm almost done this thing. Sigh.
Don't get me wrong. I can't wait to have solid food again and have a bit of a 'honeymoon period' with raw foods again but... I can't help but wonder... will I miss juice feasting? I kind of think I will. As much as juice feasting is challenging and alienates you from the social norms... there's something really great about it.... a feeling of lightness perhaps. God... I hope I don't start feeling mega-bloated again.
I read a really great post on my lovely friend Kyle's blog. I think there's a piece worth quoting here:
"Essentially, I unfairly have put juice on a throne and convinced myself that by doing a long term feast it would magically "solve all my problems" and I would be trouble free at the "end" of this long hard journey. Well, folks, as much good as it did do, it certainly did not solve all of my problems [...]"
I feel so relieved to have read this post from someone who has just recently ended their juice feast. I must confess, when I started this juice feast, I too expected juice feasting to solve all my problems and I expected to be 100% psoriasis-free by the end of this juice feast. I'm not there yet. There have been many many improvements that only I can see. Namely, I don't vaccum everyday anymore. I'm flaking A LOT less. I'm not cracking or bleeding anymore. That being said, my arms still have large patches on them and my chest has a lot of healing left to do. On a more positive note, my legs are almost fully healed and my face has no patches on them whatsoever. I'm convinced that a raw diet high in greens will help the healing process further. Let's face it, I haven't been the "best juice feaster" out there. I'm doing a lot of fruit juices and not many green juices lately. There are green veggies I love eating in their natural form that I just can't stand in juices : romaine lettuce, cabbage, field greens, arugula... the list goes on. Once I start eating again, I'm sure this diet thing will balance itself.
With that being said, I have to disappoint everyone and tell you that I won't be posting "before/after" pictureson day 93. I hope you will all respect and understand my decision. I will, by all means, take the before and after pictures for documentary purposes but I won't post them until I've accomplished my goal of fully healing myself. I think juice feasting has spearheaded the healing process. I just don't want to post pictures and receive comments that may make me doubt the progress I know I have done. I don't want to feel like a failure in any minute form because my body didn't respond as quickly as I thought it would.
My plan right now is to focus on a healthy alkaline raw-foods diet high in greens and live foods and continue many of the 'life practices' I've learned through juice feasting. I plan to take another set of photos 3 months of now when I'm convinced more healing will have taken place.
I was VERY toxic and my psoriasis was really severe. It was a bit foolish of me to think I could heal it in 3 months... but the changes that I have experienced so far have been nothing short of miraculous. It may take another 3 months, it may take another year... but I *know* deep inside me that the healing has begun.... and that's what's important.
I hope I haven't disappointed anyone. I will post a video on day 93 (guess what, I have a video I did on day -1 that I never posted... so you guys will have a bit of a 'before and after' anyway!) :).
Today I had:
1.25L water+msm+lemon
1.25L celery/black kale/dandelion/cilantro
1.5L pineapple/blood orange/blackberry
4.25L watermelon
1.5L grapefruit/navel orange/acai
3Tbsp bee pollen
enzymes
Today I did:
Zapper (with a new battery!)
13km (about 8 miles) of biking (I biked to Hull to dismantle my kiosk only to found out someone had already done it... such a waste of time... but at least I exercised!)
Oh... are you wondering about today's picture?? I found money in my mailbox today!!! A 90$ GST refund in my mailbox today along with a letter from Starbucks. I worked at Starbucks last year for about a month when I got laid off; I needed a job and ANY job would do until I found something better. Well apparently there's a 200$ cheque somewhere out there that starbucks sent me that was never cashed! They're sending me a new one! COOOL!!! 290$ in my pocket! :) That totally pays for the cookbooks I just bought.... but... I'm tempted to use this money to buy a 9 tray dehydrator now! LOL (I only own a small 4 tray apartment sized Excalibur right now).
I didn't get a chance to talk to my director today seeing as I was mega-busy and he was in and out of the office. I'll try to catch him tomorrow and ask him about taking a 'personal day' on next Tuesday.
That's all folks,
- Ben
3 comments:
I hear you... Juice feasting is a wonderful platform, but life and healing go on from here... I'm a bit fed-up today, but will no doubt feel better tomorrow!
OH Ben, I just wanted to cry reading your post. YOU have done SOOOOOOOOO much healing and I promise you the healing will continue happening for your entire lifetime. You have put your body in such a good place to continue the healing process and once you transition to raw foods you will respond beautifully. And if it doesn't always then guess what, you just shift to something that does. Life is a continual flow of energy and I like to think of it like a river. Have you ever noticed that when water flows down a river and comes up to a big rock, it just flows around it and continues on its way? It just finds another path without forgetting its final destination.
Speed bumps will come up, it's life, but you have a strong foundation under your feet and now you have to just trust, trust, trust that your body will continue to heal itself. As long as you stay true to yourself the universe will take good care of you sweet Ben. Just look! money is falling into your pockets, your skin is a million times better and you are coming to NYC soon!! This is all you kid.
I totally respect your decision not to post your photos! It's not about putting yourself on display it's about dwelling in the bliss of what you have done, 92 DAYS of body/mind and spirit goodness while living in a modern day world and paying your bills!! I'd like to see a yogi from the Himalayans do that! haha
I remember when you told a co-worker or boss that you had 50 some odd days more to go!! haha
You have given us so much Ben and I am forever grateful.
Home stretch BABY -- get ready to rumble in the kitchen -- at first your going to be like, hun, how to I make food again?
xxkyle
I'm so happy to read your post today. I still have a lot of weight to lose and I'm at day 58 which doesn't leave me a lot of time to finish losing it. I expected to be much further along at this point. But like you, I've made great progress, more so than in a long, long time and I've also been able to break some food addictions that were holding me back. It is all just a continual flow towards a better, healthier life and I know now that this weight will come off, even if it's not happening as quickly as I would like.
I too respect your decision about the pics. You are beautiful, and I don't need pictures to see that.
XO
Pixy Lisa
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